Sunday, November 15, 2015

"If you are willing to look at another person’s behavior toward you as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves rather than a statement about your value as a person, then you will, over a period of time cease to react at all."

The aim is to be less reactive, more objective. To focus more on a solution than to obsess over the problem. To be less angry and judgemental but to be more open and calm. But what if it is just too difficult to be non reactive to someone elses negative behaviour? Is it so bad to just give up trying to be in harmony with that person, and choose my own stability as priority, and stop annihilating my own soul just to accomodate theirs? When can I say, there, I have tried enough and when can I say, I need to be more willing.

I am now in Salta. It is a bit of a dump with police everywhere, rough around the edges in not a good way, it is kinda like what little I saw of xinjiang in china. Can't wait to leave.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

I made it!!!

To Argentina!!!! Honestly if you just knew the difficulties I faced in getting to this continent, from missed flights to a sick parent, you would understand how surprised I was when I finally landed, and immigration stamped me through with just one beautiful question.... "Como Estas"

From then on, it has been beautiful.

Buenos Aires... At first I stayed at sabatico hostel, which was lovely and quiet enough to sleep off my jetlag the first day and to explore the local neighbourhood of San Telmo where I had the most delicious empanadas for 11pesos, got a local SIM after much funny communication difficulties, did a tip based walking tour, changed money at the blue rate at the hostel.

 Then I moved to stay with a couchsurfer in Palermo neighbourhood, where we toured around the area on his motorbike, had alfajores and helados, went out for a delicious steak dinner, with two other people from the UK we met while queing up to enter the restaurant.

 The day after I did another tip based walking tour in a different area, and met two cool people, one bearded hippie type music producer slash rock guitarist in rolled up jeans Chileno and the other a blue eyed ponytailed aztecprintbackpacked carpainter hiker type Austrian. Spent the day with them exploring, visiting the Recoleta cemetery, having cheesy pizza by the sidewalk, having beers in a park, feeling the rush of rush hour in the subte (and yet even in rush hour the portenos remained polite and in good humour, what people!) , meeting the Chileno's cs host, having wine while watching folk dancing on YouTube, having the most delicious hamburgers, then finally stumbling home on a late night collectivo.

By day four, the aquamarine eyed Austrian hiker had hopped on a plane to his argentinian girlfriend, leaving the Chileno and me to explore BA. From Florida to the best pizza ever at the iconic BA pizzaria Vanchero to cafe con leche in an atmospheric cafe I dont remember where to Puerto madero and a great park, it was a lovely day although energy levels were dropping compared to the day before and I was starting to feel tired.

Day five, I left Buenos Aires, got tickets to Rosario feeling a little bummed to leave Buenos Aires so early since I was starting to really like the city. But I had nothing to be bummed about because Rosario, turned out to be quite a fun experience.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Argentina

After my utter failure to get on that flight to Brazil, I was sat at bangkok airport thinking what to do... The options were, look around Bangkok (no thank you), look around Thailand (not really interested), go somewhere else for a short holiday (fun, but I would have to spend money), or just go home (easily the most cost effective but also the most boring).

So I went home. Bought another flight ticket, to Argentina this time.. Let's see if I make the flight.

Friday, October 23, 2015

A dark day

So.... I missed my flight to Brazil.

Still in malaysia!

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Hong Kong, Home and future plans

So as is obvious from the previous post, what started out as a bit of fun travelling with some company eventually turned into an emotional roller coaster ride. Coming back to HK felt great but quickly I ran into a few issues. One of them was sleep, or the lack of. Either I had difficulty sleeping or difficulty staying asleep. The first night I woke up when a new roomate came in to the dorm and I think I started talking to him as if he was L. The second night I slept at 5am after a fun night out, thinking that all the beers I had (too many) would keep me sleeping for a bit. Nope, I was up at 8am. Third night, again I woke up when the two guys staying in my dorm came in and again, while being mostly asleep (not aware enough to stop, but aware enough to remember it the next day) I started talking nonsense to them about why they are sleeping in their beds. I woke up that morning to a cloudy, grey day feeling depressed as shit for the first time in days... I was more messed up from the whole experience with L than I was willing to admit to myself and it was time to hit the reset button. Or perhaps it is slightly cruel and unfair to blame all my emotional issues on my brief time with L, perhaps accepting that I was leaving my home (of four years) for my "home" which I havent been in for 7 - 8 years was also stressful. Anyway, I booked a last minute flight and got myself home to KL the next day.

The first few weeks after I left - in russia and my first days in ulan baatar - I was missing the comfort and sense of purpose that comes with routine life. Going to work every day may have been tiring and occasionally boring but it still had more meaning and fulfillment than my little train tour of Russia. I was missing that badly. But somewhere in Mongolia something changed. It is like a knot within me relaxed, a knot which I wasn't even aware of acquiring.. I started enjoying my life again, day to day and I realized that I hadn't relaxed in a long time. Maybe I just got used to being on holiday but suddenly the prospect of working again seemed so unattractive. I liked travelling again! This feeling of not knowing what I want followed me to China. One day in Urumqi, I was feeling particularly conflicted about going home and discussed it with an old friend from my Lincoln days, Luca, who had also returned home after a couple of years in the UK. He thought that if I was meant to not be at home at this point, I will realize it when I am home and I will want to leave. I thought about it but going home was to be far too big a risk to take. "What if I went home and I never left again?!" seems so childish now in retrospect but back then avoidance seemed to be the best choice.

And then I have to tell you about south america - in relation to me. Summer of 2012 I wanted to go, but told myself next year. Summer of 2013 I wanted to go, but told myself 3 weeks (that was all the holiday I had) was too short. Summer of 2014 I tried to arrange my medical elective there but couldnt find a hospital that would accept me without an agency and agencies were far too pricey. Summer of this year again I was torn between either SA or going home overland. Because of flight prices and also my own skepticism if I had outgrown the travel bug, I went to Russia. So its been a long time coming and as I sat outside scoozi hostel in Guilin, I knew it was now or never. There were reasonably priced flights from Bangkok to Brazil and either I bite the bullet now or continue to just dream about it. Somehow Brazil never attracted me much - with much of my daydreams and googling being focussed on Argentina and particularly Chile - but hey, if that is where I can fly to without breaking the bank, then that is where I will go.

And that how my first afternoon in Hong Kong was spent booking my flights to Manaus.

As for going home, it was great. Really missed the place. Leaving was difficult.
But again, although I am sad to leave home yet again, I know if I dont do it this time, I probably wont, not for a while at least.

So here we are again! One more little adventure coming my way.

4 flights to get me there, 1 down, 3 more to go.